The Christmas Post.

Christmas. Its the most magical time of year.

With the snow, the Christmas lights, the Christmas tree, And all the gifts everybody is giving each other...
chestnuts roasting over an open fire...
Yes, its all very magical.

But what are the parts of Christmas that stick out most?

Christmas music
Before thanksgiving, you can hear it on the radio.

But what they don't know, is the Christmas celebration technically doesn't start until AFTER Christmas day.

Gifts
What most people look forwards to most. What could be inside that wrapping paper?
Shake it, measure it, you can never be sure what it is until you rip off that paper.

There are many different methods of unwrapping a gift. I usually like to rip open a little hole and guess what it is from what I can see through the little hole.

Christmas lights
Around winter, it gets dark really fast. But, when its dark, its also bright with everyone putting put their Christmas lights. Some people go all out and decorate every contour of their house while others just hang some off their roof.

Snow
Of course! The magical white stuff.

Santa
Sometimes the fake ones at the mall can be a bit creepy, but Santa is still pretty awesome.
I still cant figure out where he gets his funds to buy so many presents.
Maybe he has a special card that makes the people that own the store have to give him everything he wants for FREE. Otherwise I bet they get coal.
Poor store owners must really not like Santa black mailing them like that.

Something some people might not know is that Santa is short for Saint Nicholas.

Christmas feasting
Its Christmas day, and the relatives come over with food. You lay it out and munch on it all day.


Merry Christmas everyone!

First day of snow.

You wake up, and notice that its extra bright outside.
You look out the window and notice: IT SNOWED LAST NIGHT!
Weather your happy, or sad about it, most people do some crazy things.

Usually on the first day of snow, there isn't much snow on the ground.
You can still see the grass poking out of the snow.

Yet, you are so exited about it, you put on your old snow clothes that are too tight, and go out into the magical winter wonderland.

Then you go, now what? There is hardly any snow. Then you think, ah yes, a snow man! Of course.

So you go around with a sled gathering all the snow you can get. You bring it back to where you want to make your snowman and begin.

In the end, you are awarded with a plumpy snow man that's 2 feet tall, and has clumps of grass sticking out of its face.

And there is no more snow on the ground.

Aaand now the Abominable snowman is mad at your for wasting all of his snow.

Way to go.

Thanks Whitney for the post idea!

Post Thanksgiving Post.

This, is the Post thanksgiving post. What should have been the thanksgiving post.

Thanksgiving. In my house, this is how it went down.

12:00

We go to our Grandmas house.

The girls start making food, the men sit on the couch and watch the Bozo show from the 70's

12:30

We watch some James bond, and The godfather for their action scenes and switch in between them at commercials.

1:00

More family gets there, with babies and little kids.

We have to babysit while watching the godfather.

2:00

Food is served.

Food eating tip:

First go up and get a little bit of everything. Unless it looks really nasty.

Then, sit down, eat it all and identify everything that tastes the best.

For seconds, go up and get only the good stuff so you can maximize yummy food consumption and you don't need to waste space on the nasty stuff.

2:45

Dessert is served.

3:00

Everybody goes back to watching TV, falling asleep, or playing with little kids.

4:00

our stomachs are empty enough to cram more food in, so we go up for more of whatever was the best.

5:00

We are all still socializing and having a good time.

6:00

Everybody is SO FULL that you can hear groans of pain.

7:00

We say goodbye and go home.

THEN, you have day 2, which is when you have a second party for the people that couldn't come, and eat all the leftovers.

12:00

Family arrives, food is served.

1:00

Me and my cousin Christopher, play computer games and mess around.

3:00

We eat again.

4:00

Me and Christopher get all exited about shooting the 22 rifle at an apple.

And we also get exited to go on a Coyote hunt, because my uncle saw one in the woods before.

(They both never happened.)

5:00

Me and Christopher get high on dessert, then my dad, my cousin, my uncle, and I, go out deer hunting.

Me and Christopher still wanted to shoot something but didn't think we where going to see a deer (We didn't) so, as well as shot guns, we took out BB guns for shooting birds.

6:00

After seeing nothing, we come back in and eat more food.

Me and Christopher where so riled up to shoot at something, we decided to play a game called "Dangerous Hunts" Where you go hunting for like, black bears and other dangerous creatures. We switched it to easy and went bear hunting with a compound bow.

8:00

Everybody goes home.

If you haven't already, subscribe!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving everybody!

Unfortunately, there is no blog post this week. I am too full to write a full post.

Everybody have a great thanksgiving!

Gobble Gobble!

The random post.

First of all, my wireless keyboard is almost out of battery.

Second of all,

Ya wanna know something? Today I started working for chacha.

by working for 3 hours... I got 3$

Its not working out so well.

Why is this post so random you may be wondering? Well, I am super tired right now, and am making this last minuet. SO, I cant think so I decided instead of trying to sound smart/funny, I would just let my craziness entertain you.

This is a barbie toy piano that i ripped apart. Nobody liked it anymore, so I took it. HEHEH.

Sorry its sideways. Like I said before, I'm tired, so I don't really care. :D

That right now, is actually pretty funny.

No, you dont need to watch the whole thing.

Eh, good enough for me. I'm going to sleep. PEACE OUT WORLD.

Oh yeah, and subscribe. DO IT.

Goldfish Crackers

Have you ever wondered how the Goldfish crackers are made? We did too.

So, we did a little research and it turns out that it’s a long process filled with with catching, punching, and robots.

The process starts, with robots fishing in the secret lake where the goldfish live.

After they catch some, they are too soggy to eat, so they lie them out in the sun to dry. THIS IS WHEN THEY DIE.

After they are all dry, and crispy, they take them to the factory, where they are crushed up. After that they inject some ingredients, like smiles, and sugar.

After that they stuff them into a fish shaped mold.

When they are done drying, they pop them out and scratch smiles onto their little faces.

They are them put in packages, and shipped to children everywhere.

Now you know.

Facebook creeping.

We all do it at some point. Some people more than others.

Good and bad can come out of Facebook creeping.

But one thing is for sure. Its enjoyable.

I hardly ever use Facebook. So, to make this more interesting, I will have to do some investigation work.

We where arguing about Halloween and candy.

Dear people who use Facebook... WE DON'T CARE THAT YOU MADE A SANDWICH.

Explaining the Googleplex.

I am going to try and explain a googleplex.

If you aren't familiar with the googleplex, its a very very hugenormus number.

Million, billion, trillion.. something.. something..... something.. Uh... After a long time, a very very long time of doing this if you know your numbers, you will reach a GOOGOL.

A googol is 1, followed by a hundred zeros.

It would literally look like this:

10,­000,­000,­000,­000,­000,­000,­000,­000,­000,­000,­000,­000,­000,­000,­000,­000,­000,­000,­000,­000,­000,­000,­000,­000,­000,­000,­000,­000,­000,­000,­000,­000,­000

That my friends, is a Googol. This, is a HUGE number. Imagine that many tacos. That's more tacos, then there are hydrogen molecules in the known universe. That's intense.

And that's just a googol!

A Googleplex, is 1, followed by a GOOGOL zeros. Not a hundred zeros, A GOOGOL ZEROS.

Imagine every taco, turns into a zero and lines up. That's a lot of zeros.

It is physically impossible for you to write this out. If you where writing it on a piece of paper, you would need more space, then there is in the known universe.

Then why the heck would you make a number that big? Your probably asking yourself.

In the words of some guy on Yahoo answers:

it enables us to do math with very large NON_INFINITE numbers.

Which makes sense.

WHO invented it is an interesting story.

In 1938, Edward Kasner's nine-year-old nephew, Milton Sirotta, coined the term googol, then proposed the further term googolplex to be "one, followed by writing zeroes until you get tired". Kasner decided to adopt a more formal definition "because different people get tired at different times and it would never do to have Carnera be a better mathematician than Dr. Einstein, simply because he had more endurance and could write for longer". It thus became standardized to .

Motorola ATRIX

So yeah, I have had this super poopy Nokia Surge for the past year and a half, and I hated using it. I just despised that thing.

It was one of those super slow, your pressing the buttons faster than it can register, so your having to sit there and wait for it to load kinda phones.

And, it was labeled as a "texting phone" but it turned out that it was a kind of smart phone, texting phone hybrid. So to keep from getting bookoo chargers for data, we had to put on something called a "data block." So I couldn't send our receive pictures.

So I had this poop slow brick, that could call and text (with some challenge)
It was a pain for a long time.

Then just a few weeks ago, I was eligible for an upgrade. Before this I was already looking at new phones, and decided that I wanted the Motorola atrix.

Ahh, the atrix.

The fastest phone on the market.
With a 1.0 GHz dual core tegra 2 processor, and 1 gig of ram, it was the fastest you could get.
2 cameras, front and back, and also has a finger scanner on the back.
plus, it's running android 2.3
And it's only 100$ with a 2 year contract.

The day I was eligible, we drove to the AT&T store and picked it up. The first picture that I took, Was in the store with the front facing camera.

That is it. Cant you see the joy in my face? Small irises? Clenched lips? Yeah. This is the face of intense joy, but I'm pretending like I'm only mildly happy for reasons unknown.

In the few weeks that I have been using it, I have descovered that I like the Android OS over the IOS.

It's better for nerds like me.

But yeah, this thing Is so cool, I wrote this whole blog post with it.

Pickle Products.

A couple posts ago we had a random pickle. While on Amazon, I felt the urge to search, for an electric yodeling pickle. To my surprise you can actually get one!

YODELING PICKLE!

I kind of seriously want to buy this thing. Especially after these reviews. (He gave it 4 stars):

I loaned my iPod to my kid and he broke it. This understandably bummed me out, since I really enjoy taking long walks on the beach while listening to some tune-age. I'm kinda low on funds, so buying a replacement iPod wasn't an option for me. I was very fortunate to discover the Yodeling Pickle. I have been super pleased with the results. First of all, as luck would have it, the Yodeling Pickle just happens to yodel all of my favorite tunes that were stored on my iPod. Hits like "Bobbejaan Schoepen yodels the collected works of Black Sabbath" and of course Slim Whitman's edgy yodeling rendition of "Baby Got Back."

I have withheld one star from my review however, giving the Yodeling Pickle just four of five possible stars. There isn't a headphone jack, which is only a problem if the folks around me don't appreciate yodeling, (which almost NEVER happens). Also, I was accustomed to carrying the iPod strapped to my arm with the elastic armband accessory. Nothing like this is available for the pickle. On my beach walks, I've found that the pickle can be carried around by conveniently in my belt. I've met tons of nice ladies on the beach since scoring the pickle. I can only assume they dig yodeling as much as I do.

It's a great portable music solution for yodeling fans. Cheaper than an iPod and the chicks seem to dig it.

Or how about this one?:

I've been searching high and low for a quality Electronic Yodelling Pickle for over 20 years now, and this one is by far the greatest one of them all. You won't find a better Electronic Yodelling Pickle on the market! I'm Roger Barr and I approved of this message

That, is good to know.

A snippet from another review:

It yodels. That's basically it. But if you listen closely, it yodels thoughts to you. I'm now turning my life around thanks to the advice it gives. I'm a little worried about some of the things it tells me to do, but what the Yodelling Pickle Toy tells me to do, I have to do. I don't make the rules. It does.

Those are seriusly real reviews.Dont believe me? Look it up yourself!

Pickle-Pult anyone?

Wait... What?:
Now, you might laugh at this Pickle-pult and think it silly. However, I challenge you to look more deeply into the possibilities of any product, just as I did after putting some clever thought into the situation.

I needed a serious solution to my problem of no home defense capabilities. I have not been allowed to own or operate a gun since "the incident", so I needed some creativity to come up with an answer. I had tried a catapult, but after only a few shots, the cats tend to run away and never come back the next time you let them outside.

So what I do, is I buy the official "terrified pickles" accessory pack, and then I whittle one end of them down to a sharp point. This is tricky for me to do, since I am not allowed to own or handle knives since "the incident". Then when an unwelcome intruder enters my home or yard, I fire a terrified pickle, point first, in their direction. They tend to run off with the pickle still embedded, so I keep an abundant supply of replacement terrified pickles on hand.

Best of all, no one ever believes that they were injured by a whittled down plastic terrified pickle launched by a pickle-pult. In fact, one intruder spent four days in the psych-ward after trying to put that story across. So none of my humorless, paranoid family, friends, or neighbors has yet been able to obtain a court order denying me THIS method of self defense.

I will never look at a pickle the same way.

PICKLE BAND-AIDS!

PICKLE LIP BALM!

PICKLE FLOSS!

PICKLE FLAVORED TOOTHPASTE!

PICKLE FLAVORED TOOTHPICKS!

PICKLE GUM!

PICKLE MINTS!

Isnt getting vinegar all over your teeth BAD?

PICKLE SOAP!

Terms and conditions.

By reading this blog post, you agree to our Terms and ConBLAH BLAH BLAH

Who the heck cares? Who even reads those?

Just scroll down and gimme that "I Accept" button. I just want to make an account on Postopia.com so I can register my coin I got on my cereal box.

That's pretty much it. "Eehhh yeah."

I wonder how far they could go. I mean like,

"By pressing 'I Accept' You agree to hand over your soul, all your money, and your children. And your socks by Friday."

Helicopter Ejection

Why don't helicopters have ejection seats? I guess its pretty clear.

The conventional "Ejection seat" would result in immediate choppage.

Someone actually invented a methed where the roter flies off, THEN you eject.

The Russian Zvezda K-37 seat system

I was hoping I would be able to go off on this more.. Hmm.

ITS A FUNNY PICKLE!

Stay tuned people! I'm cooking up a surprise. A WEEKLY surprise.

#3-1 Alpha 2

Thanks everybody who sent in all of their questions!

First question!

Dear BulfenRoben,

How do you find the motivation to get out of bed every day?

How can you look yourself in the mirror?

How can you LIVE with yourself?

~Boof

Uhh,

Next question!

Q. How long does it take to come up with these humorous and more or less witty posts about whatever.

~Victor

A. Well, The ideas usually just come to me when I'm messing around. But to iron them down to a post, about 2 hours. Not including pictures.

Next!

Q. How long does it take you to make the pictures on your blog?

~Koosh

A. It takes about a half of an hour each picture.

And then we have this lovely one.

Dear Rob and Ben,

I have read every blog post you have, and watched all of "Toobatee"'s YouTube videos. Does it startle you/scare you that you have no idea who I am...? Do you think I'm a creeper?

~Wendel

No, It doesn't scare me that there is somebody that I haven't met, reading my blog. That's what its for, ALL OF THE INTERNET!

And, no, I don't think your a creeper. Just a fan.

And then, we have all of these, from one person. (Thank you Lizzie!)

What is the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to you?

That's hard. I haven't really had any that bad...

Well, I would have to say, when I was really little, (Like 6) all of our family was having a big birthday party. It was for like, 5 kids.

When it was time to open up gifts, every kid took a corner, and stashed all of their presents there. I was getting sick of waiting for somebody to give me a gift, so I decided to go and find my own gifts!

I marched away, found a gift, opened it up, and my mom told me that the person wanted to give it to me. I felt horrible.

It still haunts me to this day.

What is your dream job?

I think THIS. This right here. I think I would like to make a living off of my blog, YouTube video's and photography.

Or, something medical.

How did you come up with the name Toobatee?

I didn't actually. It was my little sister Rachel. When she was very small. She decided that she wanted to name all of her dolls, Toobatee!

How I decided to use it as a username, was when I used to play Runescape, and I forgot my password for my account. (This was about 6 years ago) I decided to make a new account, and gave it the name: TOOBATEE!

What books are your reading/what books do you recommend and why?

I am reading Rangers Apprentice. And, I suggest the Eragon series. Because its awesome.

Is your house haunted?

Sometimes, I hear crying babies coming FROM THE WALLS!

Just kidding. Its not.

What's your favorite Pixar film and why?

I love ALL of them. Cant pick a favorite. Its like picking a favorite food. IMPOSSIBLE.

Do you prefer pens or pencils? Chocolate or vanilla? Elevators or escalators? Fruits or vegetables?

Pencils. You can erase them.

Depends on what it is. If its ice cream, vanilla.

Escalators. You get to feel the breeze.

Fruit. Its sweet.

What's the most ridiculous/crazy/funny thing you've ever done?

(If enough people probably email me, I will think up an answer. I have done a lot of crazy things.)

If you were stranded on a desert island (with 1 food of your choice and water), what three other things would you choose to have and why?

Who is your favorite Axe Cop character and why?

Axe Cop. Because he's Axe Cop.

What's your favorite school subject?

Science.

Who/what do people say you look like?

A lot of people who know me say that I look like a doctor that we know.

What is the best thing you've ever ate?

Super fancy chicken. At my confirmation dinner.

And lastly, but probably most importantly...

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could CHUCK NORRIS?

If it chucked Chuck Norris, it would get round house kicked in the face.

How much wood could it chuck? I would guess zero. It cant chuck wood.

Phiew!

Next we have this one

Q. How long did it take to write your first blog post?

~Kristofer411

A. Hmm, probably 2 hours. We did it at around 1 am. Rob and I.

We had no idea what we where doing.

THE PICTURE I PROMISED!

Thank you guys for submitting your questions!

If you have any more questions, feel free to send me an email. It most likely wont be in another post, but I will still be happy to answer any question you have!

Thanks, guys!

#3-1 Alpha

Hey! I just got back from vacation yesterday night And wrote this blog post right afterwards. So, I'm tired, sleepy, I have to get up early in the morning, so I can't make a long awesome blog post full-o-pictures and all that stuff.

So, I'm initiating emergency blog post protocol #3-1 Alpha.

Basically, YOU guys will write it. Or, it-ish.

What will happen is you guys, will think of and email any question about BulfenRoben, and email it to bulfenroben@gmail.com and I will answer them in my next blog post, to the best of my abilities, possibly in a funny manor, depending on the question.

You can ask all the questions you want. Questions like,
What made you want to start a blog?
How you think of your blog posts, Anything!


Don't worry about emailing me. I will not distribute, spam, or even reply (unless I think it's necessary.) to your email, but that doesn't mean I won't read them.

I will most likely read them all.


Still need a reason to ask a question?
In the email, after the questions, you can give me a name for me to use in a picture I will make for you guys. A gift for being awesome.

Please note that you don't need to use your real name. Just make something up. And also note that you don't need to give me a nickname at all. Only do this if you want it to be used in my fancy picture.

Thank you all! And happy questioning!

COFFEE it runs me. IT RULES ME!

I had my first real coffee, and It was AMAZING.
Sunday, we went out for coffee, and I decided to get a real coffee, instead of a magic milk, like a big kid.

I reacted badly.

I drank most of it within 10 minuets. After that we got in the car, where I got really goofy and decided, Hey! this would be a great blog post! So, I pulled out my IPod and started taking notes. They where crazy. so I decided to put them up here as they where:

[Dad turned on psychedelic, jazz music.]

All that
Wahhhroooo! Happy ha heeeyyyy!
Makes sense now. It's like the earth aligning perfectly with the sun, the moon, and all he stars.
Perfect harmony.
HEEEEEE!!!!
I don't do good on coffee.
CANT THIS CAR DRIVE FASTER?
I am now going to listen to the jazz that's on, and music on my iPod.
At the same time.
I need more stimulation. :O
Ö it's a faaaace!!
Opaadjdgjwzxçnbm iü heeee heee
Ga1•/:;¢&""…'n!?

Ò¿Ó IT'S A FACE! ANOTHER ONE!

Ō¿Ó I AM NOT AMUSED.

°•° ITS A KOWALA!


____________________


Yeah, I was insane. And this is pretty much the state of mind that I was in:

(I drank half caff by the way. )

Headphones, and a new blog!

Yeap, Headphones.

Does it amaze anybody else how easily they can get tangled in your pocket?

You roll it up, stick it in your pocket, wait 3 seconds, pull them out, and they are twisted, knotted and woven! Its amazing!

Now, onto the new blog: BulfenSerious (Corny, I know)

Basically, you guys expect funny ha ha from this blog, so I could never post anything BUT funny stuff. So, I created another blog for anything from funny, to not funny at all. Read more about it!

And also, See this at the very end of the post?

That’s the Google +1 button. (Obviously)

what happens when you press it, is your basically giving your approval that you like this site, or post, or what ever.

Its important to me, because if you like a post, and press that button, then my blog will be easier to find for other people, maybe looking for something funny on Google. = More hits.

SO if you like anything you read, PLEASE +1 me! its as simple as pressing the button!

ALSO! Don’t forget to comment and subscribe, or like us on Facebook!

THANKS!

Cant Take It!

Is it just me, or did it take forever for this post to come out?
For me, it felt like a really long time. SO what we are going to start doing is:

Expect a new post next week! and the week after that, and the week after that, Etc etc.
With double the posts, hold on while we make more!
SEE YOU NEXT FRIDAY. BOOOYAH.

Fwd:

rosesarered

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Violetsareblue

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Goodfriendsaregreat

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andthebestone is you!

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If I don't get this back , then I will see

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that you are not a friend

 

---

This is an actual email I got form a friend.

Really friend? I guess I’m not your friend, because I didn’t send it back.

 

I love how forwards can be sweet, and happy, even inspiring, but at the end, they always have a twist that goes something like this:

If you send this email on, your crush will marry you, and you will find 10000 dollars in cash on your front door.

If you don’t send this email on, you’re your mother will die, but before that, she will murder you dad. Then, you will get kidnapped, and they would take all your money. And then they will kill the love of your life in front of your eyes. Then they will kill you.

WHAT? Really? And that’s not even an exaggeration! (well, it might be a little)

This one is a direct quote:

YOU HAVE 20 MINUTES TO TELL 6 FRIENDS that they are important to you
(INCLUDING ME). TOMORROW IS NOT PROMISED.
SO , cherish your friends! GO!

Wait, didn’t you just give me a death threat?

I’m pretty sure those aren’t going to happen. Who would write this? What do you gain? How board must you be?

(That would be the person who wrote the email. Forever alone)

 

Or how about the ones that are inspiring, but then when you look back, don’t make any sense at all?

For example.

This one. here is the whole thing:

 

This explains why I forward

 

A man and his dog were walking along a road.
The man was enjoying the scenery,
when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead.
He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years.
He wondered where the road was leading them.
After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road.
It looked like fine marble..
At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight.
When he was standing before it, he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like mother-of-pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked like pure gold.
He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side.

When he was close enough, he called out, 'Excuse me, where are we?'
'This is Heaven, sir,' the man answered.
'Wow! Would you happen to have some water?' the man asked..
'Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought right up.'
The man gestured, and the gate began to open. 'Can my friend,' gesturing toward his dog, 'come in, too?' the traveler asked.
'I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets.'
The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been going with his dog.
After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road leading through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed.
There was no fence.
As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book....

'Excuse me!' he called to the man. 'Do you have any water?'
'Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there, come on in.'
'How about my friend here?' the traveler gestured to the dog.
'There should be a bowl by the pump,' said the man.
They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old-fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it.
The traveler filled the water bowl and took a long drink himself, then he gave some to the dog.
When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree.
'What do you call this place?' the traveler asked.
'This is Heaven,' he answered.
'Well, that's confusing,' the traveler said.
'The man down the road said that was Heaven, too.'
'Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope. That's hell.'
'Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?'
'No, we're just happy that they screen out the folks who would leave their best friends behind.'

Soooo. Now you see, sometimes, we wonder why friends keep forwarding stuff to us without writing a word. Maybe this will explain it.
When you are very busy, but still want to keep in touch, guess what you do? You forward emails.
When you have nothing to say, but still want to keep contact, you forward jokes.
When you have something to say, but don't know what, and don't know how.... you forward stuff.

A 'forward' lets you know that you are still remembered, you are still important, you are still loved, you are still cared for.

So, next time if you get a 'forward', don't think that you've been sent just another forwarded joke, but that you've been thought of today and your friend on the other end of your computer wanted to send you a smile.

You are welcome at my water bowl anytime !!

---

Wait, WHAT!?

So basically… Wow. If you leave your dog behind to go to heaven, then you go to hell? Dogs have mortal souls, aka, their soul dies with their body… this email is also saying that if you deny going to heaven, you will go to heaven?

I’m just confused about this one.

I Googled the first paragraph, and this story is all over! Dog breeding info sites, Spiritual short stories.com Christinyou.net These people have it all wrong!

 

Do the world a favor and don’t forward any more emails. Or, at least the stupid ones.

NEW POSTS EVERY other FRIDAY.

That's right! We are going to start making a new post every other Friday!

Hopefully some time in the future, we will be able to make it EVERY Friday. Right now, I'm used to writing about one a month, so making 4 more every month will be hard for me. But I think we can do it!


In other news, Rob, the blogs co-founder, is going off to seminary (AKA college) and wont be able to post anymore. So the blog is now my responsibility.


Thank you all!

“Watchers”

I recently have become quite active on Ebay selling all kinds of things. From Phones, to pots.

When someone puts something up for auction, it usually takes a few days, so there is this button you can press to keep an eye on it. You can “Watch” The item.

To the seller, the people who press this button are called “Watchers.” Whenever I hear this I always imagine something like this:

Watching… Waiting…

Cardboard Box. Part 1 and 2

Cardboard box is finally complete! I am happy to announce. It took about 15 hours of work to make this and I hope you enjoy it!

I merged the first post with the second for easier reading.

[Part 1]
A box came in the mail. What was inside it, is irrelevant. What matters, is that this was a large box. This was a strong box. This box was stronger than any box I have ever seen. It was amazing. I took the box as my own.

The box was all I needed. I used it as a tool, and a toy.

It was great for a wagon. You could put stuff inside it and drag it around.

It was also good for making you nearly invisible. All you had to do, was sit under it while its upside down. You then look like an ordinary box! Its a great get away.

The pros of a strong, sturdy cardboard box where unending.

One day, I was outside on a windy day walking with my box when it got blown out of my hands. I panicked and ran after the box as fast as my feet could carry me. The wind was too fast. Would I lose my box? Is this the end?

It is the end. The box was headed straight for the pond. It would then get wet and be ruined if I could even get it from shore.

It hit the water, and stayed there. In the middle of the pond. It was now wet enough not to blow around. Its only a matter of seconds before it sinks to the bottom of the pond. THIS IS THE END.

Wait, its not sinking yet.

Amazing! It floats! it actually floats! Huzzah! The box will survive and the world will be right!

Unfortunately the wind stopped, and it is now stuck in the middle of the pond.

[Part 2]
After throwing rocks at it, I decided that I needed a better plan. I got some string, and tied it around a rock. I threw the rock, but it was too small and didn't make it to the box.
I reeled in the smaller rock, and replaced it with a bigger one.
Still too light.

I then tried using a big rock, but that was too heavy to throw.

The rock thing isn't working out too well.

Then, I had a brain breaking slamma-jeamma. I ran back to the house and found a fishing rod. I returned to the pond and cast out the line, attempting to snag the box with the hook and reel it in. I missed three times. The third time I reeled it in, something amazing happened. There was a fish on the hook! How did I catch a fish!? What a stupid creature.

I then had another problem. Along with having my precious box in the middle of the pond, there was a fish biting the hook. And I didn't know how to remove it.

My first idea was to shake it off.

But that didn't work.

Next, I tried to lure it off with fruit snacks i had in my pocket.

That didn't work.

I had to revert to begging the fish to let go of the hook.
When that didn't work, I was forced to revert to drastic measures.

I laid the fish on the ground and marched off to find the biggest rock I could carry.

After finding the perfect rock, I returned to the fist, with the rock in my hands and told the fish.

"Let go of the hook, or I will make you."

After waiting for 32 seconds, I lifted the rock high, gaped at the fish.

After nothing happened, I brought the rock down.

Still nothing. This is one tough fish. I continued to beat for a while. I then grabbed the pole, and yanked a few times, then the hook came out. Thank you Mr fishy.

I threw the hook out twice more before finally hitting my target. I pulled steadily until the box touched the shore.

I dragged the box onto dry land, and then had a great idea. I ran back inside, leaving the box there. Inside, I grabbed a backpack. I put inside a sandwich, water, Band aids, matches, and gum. I ran back to my beloved box, and pushed it into the water.

After it was in the water, I hoped in.

It didn't sink, and only took in minimal water. The boat floated towards the center of the pond, and it was awesome. Once it reached the center, it stopped.

I was in my box, on the pond, with food, water, and band aids.

AWESOME.

After getting over my giddiness, I decided that I was hungry. I opened up the backpack, and produced a PB&J sandwich. I began to munch on it until i gobbled it all up.

Problem. - Hands are sticky. Face is sticky.

I used my water to wash my hands and my face. Which made them nice and clean. The only problem was that I used up all of my clean water. I also figured out that I was extremely thirsty after that peanut buttery sandwich. This is also a problem.

I contemplated drinking water from the pond. But then I realized that there where fish in there. And the fish poo in that water. No way I'm drinking that stuff.

I needed to get to shore. I needed a paddle.

I tried using the water bottle,

but that didn't work.

I could swim it, but then i would have to get wet. And that's not normal water. That's poo water.

I was going through my options, and I didn't have many. I decided I needed to calm down and look through my resources. I set my backpack on the cardboard floor, and emptied the contents. Band aids, Little plastic sandwich bag, water bottle, gum.

None of those things could work as a paddle. I made sure nothing else was in my backpack, when I felt this hard thing at the bottom of the backpack. It was the plastic thing to keep the backpack lined right. This would do fine! I pulled it out, reached over the edge of the box and started to paddle. Paddle paddle paddle paddle........
I'm spinning in circles... Oh no. I'm stuck.

The paddling wasn't doing anything but spinning me in circles! How could this happen!?

I am going to die out here. DIE.

The sun was high in the air and I was burning up. With no clean water, I was surely going to die withing hours. Maybe even minuets.

All I could do was feel sorry for myself.

Trapped. Surrounded by poo water, and dying of thirst.

After what felt like forever, I stood up to see if there where any people that I could call for help.

Oh, I must have drifted off to the side.

At last! dry land! No more poo water, no more thirst.

I then grabbed the soggy box that kept me alive, and dragged it wagon style back to the house, and drank until I was full.